Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
