I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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