Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
