yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
