I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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