your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
