Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I could make wine with my vomit
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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