Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
