I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
