Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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