My room smells like vodka and shame
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
