Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
