It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
