We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
