do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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