um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize