Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
