i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I supernannyed him into submission
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
