Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize