okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
