His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
