thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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