Nicole vs. Life
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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