we're blogging at a bar
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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