What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize