Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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