...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he was CRYING into my vagina
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
