my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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