apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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