around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
