I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
