last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
