goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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