I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
