Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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