Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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