Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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