I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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