You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
