Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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