Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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