Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
