so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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