She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize