Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
