Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
