No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
