omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize