my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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