the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
