I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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