Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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