Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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