ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
