you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
