i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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