And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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