I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize