I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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