Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
