So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
