Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
