ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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