I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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