Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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