Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
