Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
