After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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