Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
