Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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