Will you blow on my dice?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
