I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize